burning in the cold
what truth in breathless wonder...
awake when they sleep

We have an incredibly cold day here in Northeast Ohio and I feel a naked sort of...happiness. Selfishly I have shelter and my needs are met, but there is also a moment scuttling through 8 degree cold when you are focused on your breath, your warmth, and your life force as the air cuts across your exposed skin.

Times like this, when I can clearly feel the border between myself and the air around me, reinforce for me that I am alive and here for a reason.

So do I get bogged down in the confusion over the reasons for my existence swirling through the way things-might-have-been or should-be, or is this the simple moment to be grateful for body and mind that I have?

I think it is really important to even be asking that question, perhaps more important right now than having any answers.

Stay warm, my friends.

the heart lives too small,
several sizes too hard...
the Mason gives hope.

Have you ever felt conflicted as if others expected you to feel or act in a way that you just...didn't. Well I have responsibilities as a father and husband. Responsibilities as a man. Or at least I should.

this stone first born bright,
living to polish and grind...
the purpose of sand.

What does it mean to change your life? I'm starting this blog to share and get some perspective on some of the issues in my life. And the Haiku is the kireji or "cutting word" that I am going to use as a way to ground my meanderings.

To me, haiku was always that strange, almost stunted poetry that we learned at some point in middle school where our English teacher was attempting to broaden our horizons. It took me a long time and wikipedia to bring me to write and learn more. I mean I remembered the 5/7/5 syllables of the freestyle haiku with its natural theme, but how is that relevant to me?

Now, I am attempting to learn more. Attempting to change like the stone from my poem above.
Yes, I was brought into this world unblemished and bright.
Yes, I have felt the polish of things that I have learned and the grind of regret.
The question I have is, is my "sand" at this point good enough to serve my life and that of those in it?

And if not, what does it take to change so that it is. Come join my journey with me.

Virgil